Science & Technology

What to Do If You're Abducted by Aliens, According to Michio Kaku

When you're a physicist and futurist who makes his living talking about extraterrestrial civilizations, you're bound to run into people who don't exactly see the world the way you do. Michio Kaku gets his share of messages from people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. For those people, he has one key piece of advice: steal something.

Related Video: Michio Kaku on Superintelligent Robots

Paperweights From Space

"I believe that we will make contact with an extraterrestrial civilization in outer space in this century. We'll pick up a signal," Michio Kaku told the Curiosity Podcast. "Now, some people come up to me and say, 'Professor, that's stupid. I've been abducted by these people, I've been in a flying saucer. I know they exist.'"

"So my advice to you — if you've been abducted by flying saucer people, my advice to you is: steal something. I don't care what it is: an alien paperweight, an alien chip, an alien paperclip. Steal something so you have bragging rights afterward! Otherwise, it's just your word against everybody else's word that you were abducted by aliens in outer space."

Thoughts at the Speed of Light

Not only does Kaku believe we still have yet to make contact with aliens, he believes that they won't come in physical spacecraft when that day finally comes. Instead, he says they'll bypass the issues with light-speed travel and simply send their minds via laser.

"Aliens that are very advanced are not going to rocket across the universe with UFOs because that's too clumsy. They'll ride on laser beams," he said. "They'll simply put their consciousness on a laser beam and shoot their laser beam with the speed of light throughout the universe.

"There could be a superhighway right next to the Earth containing billions of digitized souls, but we're too stupid to know it."

That's because on the grand ladder of advanced civilizations known as the Kardashev Scale, we're barely hanging on the bottom rung. To be a measly Type I civilization, you need to be able to harness all of the energy and use all of the resources your planet has to offer. It's not until Type II and III that a civilization starts tapping all of the energy from its home star and its home galaxy. Us? We're just above a Type 0 since we still get our energy from dead plants and animals and have only just ventured beyond our own planet.

Seeing as a civilization advanced enough to contact us must be at least Type II, there's a good chance we wouldn't even recognize them if they deigned to visit us.

On the Tentacles of Giants

If they did come in physical form, however, Kaku believes their bodies will have at least a few similarities with our own. "I think the aliens, first of all, will have three basic attributes," he says. "We became intelligent for three reasons. One, we have stereo eyes, the eyes of a predator, because predators are smarter than prey. Two, we have thumbs — that is, a grasping instrument, a tentacle, a thumb, a claw. Third, language. We can hand down to generation after generation knowledge and wisdom."

That's not to say they'd look like humans. "They can have tentacles instead of opposable thumbs, as long as they have some kind of hand-eye coordination, some kind of language," he says.

You heard it from the man. The next time you're abducted by an advanced alien race, steal a notepad, a snack bar, or an ergonomically designed tentacle pen. That way you can finally prove it to the world.

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Hear more futuristic wisdom from Dr. Michio Kaku, including his thoughts on interstellar travel, artificial intelligence, human immortality, and alien contact, on the Curiosity Podcast. Stream or download using the player below, or find the episode everywhere podcasts are found, including iTunes, Stitcher, and Gretta.

Written by Ashley Hamer March 14, 2018

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