Mind & Body

Take the Close Relationships Questionnaire to Measure Your Attachment Style

Not everyone approaches relationships the same way. That's why some people get engaged after a few weeks while others are content never popping the question at all. It's also why some people find a steady stream of fulfilling relationships and others are less lucky and confident in love. In this research-backed personality quiz, you can learn more about how you approach relationships. What's your attachment style?

What's an Attachment Style?

In his book "Authentic Happiness," University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman argues that there are two basic dimensions to your attachment style. One is your level of "attachment-related anxiety." This is an umbrella term that covers fear of rejection, fear your partner will leave you, and fear your partner is somehow faking their feelings for you. The other dimension is your level of "attachment-related avoidance." Avoidant people are less likely to open up to other people emotionally and less willing to rely on their partners.

This translates into four basic attachment styles:

  • Secure (low anxiety, low avoidance): These people tend to have sturdy and meaningful intimate relationships. It's easy for them to share their feelings. They rarely struggle with depression and anxiety.
  • Preoccupied (high anxiety, low avoidance): These people also find it easy to share their feelings, but they have a lot of negative feelings and fears about their relationships. This can create problems, and cause conflict between them and their partners.
  • Dismissing (low anxiety, high avoidance): These people often have high self-confidence, but they tend to prefer autonomy to intimacy. They have trouble opening up to people, and often come off as hostile or competitive to the people closest to them.
  • Fearful (high anxiety, high avoidance): These people have a lot of trouble in romantic relationships. They tend to avoid them altogether because they provoke so much anxiety and distress. Even when they find themselves in a relationship, they tend to distrust their partners and avoid confiding in them.

Take the Quiz

To find out which of these four categories you fall into, take this quiz. It's composed of 36 questions, which you respond to on a Likert scale — which is to say, you fill in one of seven bubbles, signifying a response from "strongly agree" to "strongly disagree." You'll have to create a login before you can take it, and it should take about 10 to 15 minutes to complete.

When you're done, you'll be sent to a results page that explains the psychology behind the quiz; at the very bottom of the page, it will also give you your personalized results. This results section isn't very clearly labeled, but you'll see a small, blue square divided into quadrants, each of which is labeled with attachment style. Your personal style will be highlighted in a brighter blue.

As with any personality quiz, the results here shouldn't be taken as absolute and unassailable truth. The questions force you to make general proclamations about your relationships over time, but of course, every relationship is different, and people behave differently with different partners. At the same time, looking at the big picture this way can help you see meaningful patterns and understand yourself in a new way.

Get stories like this one in your inbox or your headphones: sign up for our daily email and subscribe to the Curiosity Daily podcast.

For more positive psychology, check out "Authentic Happiness" by Martin E. P. Seligman. We handpick reading recommendations we think you may like. If you choose to make a purchase, Curiosity will get a share of the sale.

Written by Mae Rice August 10, 2018

Curiosity uses cookies to improve site performance, for analytics and for advertising. By continuing to use our site, you accept our use of cookies, our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.