"I stood there staring down the hill, and I saw the man in the black cloak standing there, holding a knife. He stood in silence, his head motionless but staring at me. 'I'm sorry. I found you. I want you to enjoy this curse. I love you, I'm so sorry.'"
We'd love to take credit for that little slice of abject terror, but we can't. And neither can anybody else — at least, not anybody living [cue thunder]. It was written by an artificial intelligence, and there's a lot more where that came from.