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Do Women and Men Communicate Differently?

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For decades, it's been said that men and women communicate so inherently differently they may as well be from opposite planets. While we can't yet prove that to be true, studies do show different behavioral patterns when it comes to gender and communication. In general terms, men think of communication as a fairly straightforward, cut-and-dry task that involves clear motives. In other words, they tell it like they see it. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more cautious about saying directly what they're thinking and often use both verbal and nonverbal tactics to secretly garner clues about the information they want. Another interesting area of distinction is found in negotiation tactics, particularly when asking the boss for a raise or a desirable starting salary. Studies show that men initiate negotiations at a rate four times that of women, while 20 percent of women don't try to make a deal at all. Similarly, women are willing to shell out an extra $1,300 to avoid going in circles with a car salesman.

So why the striking differences, and are there any ways in which men and women communicate similarly? How does body language play a role in conveying emotions, ideas, wants and needs? These videos will not only give you insight into how to better exchange feelings and express yourself with members of the opposite gender, but will also get you started on a trek to connect on the same planet.

01:57
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Gender plays a large role in communication because, according to studies, men and women talk the same, but hear differently. Learn to communicate by understanding how men and women hear differently with relationship advice from a psychologist in this free video on interpersonal communication. Expert: Reka Morvay Contact: www.rekamorvay.com Bio: Reka Morvay is a psychologist and doula with degrees from University of California, Berkeley and Cornell University. She also trained with the Hungarian Association of Cognitive and Behavior Therapy. Filmmaker: Paul Volniansky
04:34
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Some studies say men and women are hardwired differently; others refute such claims, blaming socialization. What's going on?! Anthony and Laci explore the research and delve into debate in an updated battle of the sexes. Watch Mythbusters debunk the myth of "you throw like a girl" for more on this topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD5Xm5u7UDM&list=PL0A5590CEE7F2EC3B&index=1 For Further Reading: The Gender Myth http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-gender-myth-20100908-151d3.html "Forget those who say men and women are fundamentally different, writes Robin McKie." "Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference," by Cordelia Fine (W. W. Norton & Company, 2011). 10 Gender Differences Backed Up by Science http://news.discovery.com/human/life/science-behind-gender-differences-130528.htm "Are men inherently better than women are at some skills, and vice versa?" Men, Women Lie About Sex to Match Gender Expectations http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/2154/20130528/men-women-lie-sex-match-gender-expectations.ht m "People will lie about their sexual behavior to match cultural expectations about how men or women should act -- even though they wouldn't distort other gender-related behaviors, new research suggests." Watch More: Women in Science http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMwvNZMqUw0&list=UUzWQYUVCpZqtN93H8RR44Qw Men & Women Ain't So Different http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PZyytKK2EE&list=UUzWQYUVCpZqtN93H8RR44Qw Dust Hates You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_IGAz4lyGo&list=UUsuEirTbevLZiIEOQxcjNXA ____________________ DNews is dedicated to satisfying your curiosity and to bringing you mind-bending stories & perspectives you won't find anywhere else! New videos twice daily. Watch More DNews on TestTube http://testtube.com/dnews Subscribe now! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=dnewschannel DNews on Twitter http://twitter.com/dnews Anthony Carboni on Twitter http://twitter.com/acarboni Laci Green on Twitter http://twitter.com/gogreen18 Trace Dominguez on Twitter http://twitter.com/trace501 DNews on Facebook http://facebook.com/dnews DNews on Google+ http://gplus.to/dnews Discovery News http://discoverynews.com
02:40
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Watch more How to Be a Better You videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501442-How-Women-Can-Be-Better-Communicators-Better-You Find out how men can improve communication skills from life coach Stephanie Florman in this Howcast video. I always look at men and the way they communicate and I've been known to say that I have male brain envy. Because there is just a simplicity and a directness that is inherent in your communication style that's severely lacking in the female brain, even though our brains are wired to communicate. So my suggestion for you, the guy who wants to communicate better, is to really, you know, say what you mean, mean what you say, and understand that when you're interacting with a woman, no matter what their capacity is that while you're focused on the facts. She's focused on the feelings behind the facts, which requires you to listen. When it comes to men and communications, the area where you really need to strengthen is listening. You know, I know this as a woman who comes home to my wonderful fiancee every single night and we talk about our day. And if I have a problem naturally he wants to fix it. And I don't need him to fix it. I just want to talk about it. So the best skill that you can develop as a male who's looking to effectively communicate is to practice listening. As women, all we want is a hug and a little reassurance that everything is going to be okay. And you could trust us that if there is something that you could do to fix it, we will want you to be our heroes and we'll give you all of the information that you need to do so. My suggestion when it comes to communication man to man is that you only speak if you have something valuable to contribute. You know, if you need to speak a certain language to advance in your career or you need to speak a certain language to get where you want to be in a social circle then it's your responsibility to learn that language. Whether that language is sports or politics or business or investing or, you know, areas or locations. It's your responsibility to educate yourself so that when you are in that situation you have something valuable to contribute. Otherwise you will not be taken seriously and most likely you will not get to that end result that you're looking to achieve.
01:09
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Watch more How to Be a Better You videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501443-How-to-Improve-Your-Small-Talk-Better-You Find out how women can improve communication skills from life coach Stephanie Florman in this Howcast video. When it comes to communication as women our brains are hard-wired to communicate. You know just how men need sex to function women need communication to function. We like to talk about our thoughts and our feelings and we like to process them. We are okay just kind of sitting in the middle of something and not taking any action. So the best thing that you can do as a woman when you are communicating is to become more solution oriented. I always recommend a three part sentence and it goes something like this. You say what the behaviour was or what the action was; what your feeling was that's a two part sentence -- when you did this I felt this. And then you should focus on the solution. Most women spend too much time in the emotion and they never get to the solution which leads to lasting resentments and longing frustrations.
01:06
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Lisa Witter advises men to listen with their full selves.
01:34
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Watch more How to Read Body Language videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501699-How-to-Use-Body-Language-to-Flirt-Body-Language Learn the differences between male and female body language in this Howcast video. There's a big difference between male and female body language. Essentially, the difference is how we fall line into specific gender roles, right? So, men are supposed to act a certain way. Their body language is supposed to, you know, demonstrate certain things. And woman's body language is supposed to demonstrate certain things. So for example, and you don't want to see incongruence in this. So for example, you don't want to see a guy on a date cross his legs like this and fold his hands like this and every once in awhile go like that and play with his hair. It looks to feminine, so it's not right. So in terms of the difference between male and female body language is one of the big things, is that you want to see that they're aligned. So you want to see that a male's body language is aligned with how the male is, how it's appropriate in that society, right. So it's culturally relevant and socially relevant. For the most part, um, our body language should demonstrate our gender roles. So the body language of a man should look like a man and the body language of a woman should look like a woman. Now there are certain contexts where this is different, right? But for the most part it falls along those lines. Also, women tend to be a little, research, some research points to women tend to be a little bit better at spotting nonverbals then men. So, women tend to be a little bit more perceptive for certain things. And they tend to, you know, be a little bit more animated in their nonverbals. Um, I think the research is a little bit questionable in my opinion, but for the most part it, it points to women being the better communicators.
02:32
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Watch more How to Read Body Language videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501694-How-to-Read-Leg-Movements-Body-Language Learn how to read a person's eyes in this body language video from Howcast. There's a number of ways you can read the eyes. Blink rate is really important to me. I think blink rate, in terms of baseline behaviors, blink rates are a really effective way to measure certain people's behavior. So, I mean, people can blink for a wide range of reasons. People can blink because of the light. People always say, oh what does it mean? Maybe their contacts are dry. Yeah, but if their contacts were dry, they'd be blinking that way all the time. Go watch presidential debates, right? Go watch Mr. Mitt Romney and watch when they talk about his finances. His blinking goes through the roof. The guy blinks like crazy because he's anxious. He's trying to answer a question. He's anxious. Like, look when somebody is in a high anxiety situation. Blink rates are through the roof because it's emotionally linked, right? And the cool thing is is not just to see that people are blinking a lot, but to see essentially at what point in the conversation do you see jumps or deviations in blink rates. So all of a sudden, a guy's having a conversation with his girlfriend. They're having, you know, everything's fine, they're having a nice conversation. Then all of a sudden she accuses him of cheating and his blink rate goes through the roof. Doesn't mean he's cheating, but it means he is, you know, emotional about that topic. Okay? So blink rate is very, very useful. Something that's easy. All you have to do is look somebody in the eyes, count for ten seconds, and see how many times they blink in ten seconds. And do that at several intervals and you can figure out their average blink rate. It's not that complicated. So maintaining proper amount of eye contact is very, very important. What's the proper amount of eye contact? Around 70-ish percent. Somewhere around 60 to 80 percent. It really depends. It's really hard to narrow it down, but you shouldn't be looking somebody in the eyes over and over and over again. It's one of the big mistakes people make in interviews. They tell them to make eye contact so they look at the person like this. Oh no! It's like, yeah, you don't build an emotional connection that way because it's abnormal. People don't make that much amount of eye contact. Another cool thing with the eyes is staring. Men tend to stare a little bit too much. They come off as creepy. If you've ever found a guy with like a creepy, scary stare you tend to see two things. One is their blink rate is really low. It's a cool thing about blink rates. We like low blink rates in women, but we don't like low blink rates in men. So low blink rates in women have like this pulling in effect when they stare at you in this camera. Welcome. When men do it it's creepy. So it's an interesting difference. Also with eyes dilated. We like women's eyes dilated more than we like men's eyes dilated.
02:19
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Watch more How to Read Body Language videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501677-Body-Movements-That-Reveal-Attraction-Body-Language Learn how to tell if someone is attracted to you by their touch in this Howcast video about body language. Touching's a really easy way to determine if someone's attracted to you or not. Now, a lot of books will say if someone touches you they like you. Not the case. Some people just touch a lot. All right. So you've got to be careful. Some women just are touchers. They like to touch. They like the way they touch you. Some men just touch a lot. It's just a way of communicating socially or the way they were raised. It doesn't matter. So you want to pay attention to that. If a person touches you but touches all your friends, it doesn't mean they like you. It means they probably just touch a lot. If a person never touches anybody, and then all of a sudden touches you, that could mean something interesting. All right. So you're looking for deviations in how people touch you. Now there's a couple other things. A useful thing to do actually to figure out those deviations in baseline is to just kind of see or observe someone for ten minutes and see how often they touch someone. If in ten minutes they don't touch anybody or they don't touch any of the people they are interacting with, but in the ten minutes that you interact with them they touch you four or five times, that tends to be a good sign, because it's a sharp deviation in how they normally act. Okay? You're also going to take into consideration how they touch you. You know, and I'll make the argument that deviations in baseline that deal with touching are good regardless of how they touch you. Now, there's touching that's very good. So one of the things you'll tend to see is right before two people kiss, you'll tend to see touching usually initiated by the woman somewhere between the waist and the shoulders. So a lot of women go for the buttons. They'll touch the buttons, or they'll touch somewhere on the hand. And it's kind of like, touch is a very intimate sort of thing, especially in attraction. So we live in a society, I know especially in New York City, where we don't like to essentially be touched, which is very interesting. Because like in New York City if you touch somebody, it's alarming. But down South, I'll never forget when I was in New Orleans everybody was touching. I was like, "What the hell is going on? Why is everybody so touchy?" But it's the social context there. So touching is not, so certain women from the Midwest might touch a lot more than women from New York City. That's why you need to really pay attention to the deviation in baseline. Some people are just, that's how they communicate. They touch. And touching's a very important way. And, you know, it builds rapport. It opens you up, so on and so forth. But you've got to make sure that the person touching you actually doesn't touch other people, or else you're just like everybody else.

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